Colorado Sandstorm Music

                                                             Contact Us

   

The Ballad of Alice the Ogre

©1994, 1995 Sandra L. Reay / Patrick Bone

Colorado Sandstorm Music, B.M.I.

 
1.
Ms Alice the Ogre
  Could drive a drunk sober
  Then turn him to drinking again
  But there was a time though
  When she did not act so
  Old Alice was normal back then
   
chorus Alice Alice
  Alice was normal back then
  Alice Alice
  Old Alice was normal back then
   
2.
She was a school teacher
  And during the school year
  Her conduct was proper enough
  Until Dippy Daisy
  Drove poor Alice crazy
  Which led her to doing strange stuff
   
3.
Daisy was dippy
  And Daisy was lippy
  And Daisy played tricks all day long
  As soon as the lesson
  Was fully in session
  Dear Daisy would break out in song
   
4.
She was a contralto
  Or was that an alto
  No matter. Her voice could break glass
  Like scratches on blackboards
  It sent Alice skyward
  To land bottom up in the trash
   
5.
"That's it" said old Alice
  Her voice full of malice
  "I'm through being nice to you all
  From now on its my turn
  To make sure you all learn
  I'm read to loot, burn, and maul"
   
6.
And so for example
  I'll give you a sample
  Of Alice's classroom rapport:
  To all in her classroom
  She lets it be known soon
  She gets crazy mad at failure
   
7.
Therefore in her courses
  She points to her purses
  Where she keeps her "teaching techniques"
  Which soon as you look at
  Will leave you no doubt that
  Her technique is truly unique
   
8.
A 357
  Could send you to heaven
  For failing her final exam
  A steel ball-peen hammer
  She calls her late-whammer
  Though no one's be tardy again
   
9.
And then there's her ripsaw
  Which someone should outlaw
  Intended to rip more than wood
  And for some strange reason
  All during school season
  Her class acts unusually good
   
10.
For no one has tested
  Nor school teacher bested
  Old Alice's strange lesson plans
  And none in her classroom
  Has dared to face doom soon
  By failing her lofty demands
   
11.
Except Dippy Daisy
  Who made Alice crazy
  And caused her concern for her health
  As rumor would have it
  Dear Daisy is well set
  And pushing up daisies herself
 
 
Samples from Production Versions:
 
There's A Dead Boy in the Attic - Sandy Reay, Peter Schwimmer, Patrick Bone
There's a Dead Boy in the Attice and Other Strange Stories CD The Ballad of Alice the Ogre
     
TOP    
CDs
©2007-2017 Colorado Sandstorm Music All rights reserved
  
Follow us on: facebook